Parenting in the Plan of Salvation

Heavenly Father’s children are with Him before coming to Earth.

Part of His plan is to have each of His children raised by special people who will love, teach, and care for them.  These special people are parents.

Adam and Eve were the first parents.  Heavenly Father married them in the Garden of Eden and after they left the Garden they had children.

Heavenly Father wants other people to do the same thing.  He wants a man and a woman to get married and then raise children.  That’s the most important way that we help Heavenly Father with His plan.

Puberty

When we’re young our bodies aren’t ready for us to be parents.  So, when we’re teenagers, our bodies change in several ways.  When our bodies change like this, it’s called puberty.

Mothers need to be able to feed their babies.  When they have babies, their bodies make special milk for this.  They hold the milk inside their breasts in mammary glands.  During puberty a woman’s breasts get bigger because the mammary glands are maturing.  Some women have more fat in their breasts, too, making them larger, and some have less fat, making their breasts smaller.  All women, no matter their breast size, have mammary glands and can make milk for their babies.

Mothers also need to carry babies in their bellies before the babies are born.  The part inside a mother’s belly that holds a baby is called the uterus, or womb.  Babies grow bigger while inside their mothers’ wombs, but they start out very small—as small as a single cell, called an egg.  Mother hens can lay whole eggs about every day; human women have a single-cell egg ready about every month.  Egg cells have to be fertilized to grow into a baby.  When human egg cells are not fertilized, they leave the woman’s body along with some of her blood.  The blood leaves a woman’s body at her crotch, through an opening called the vagina.  Because the egg cell and blood go out about every month, the bleeding is called a period or menstrual cycle.  Girls start having their period during puberty.

Boys also experience changes during puberty.  One of those changes is that their voice becomes lower.  Sometimes when their vocal cords stretch it makes their voice shake in a funny sort of way.  (It’s not polite to make fun, though.)

Both boys and girls start to grow hair on parts of their bodies that didn’t have hair before.  This happens the most in armpits, at the crotch, and on boys’ faces.  Girls and boys also start to sweat differently and make body odors more than before.  Boys and girls can both get acne, which means that we can get uncomfortable spots on our skin for a while.

Something else that happens during puberty is that certain chemicals in our bodies called hormones can make us feel different moods.  These chemicals are natural and important, but not always convenient.  Hormones also cause boys and girls to grow very quickly at times.  Hormones also make boys and girls more interested in each other and cause strong feelings.

All of these changes during puberty are normal.  They happen to everyone.

Anatomy

Men and women have special body parts.  A man has a penis, and a woman has a vagina.  There are several other important differences, but we have these parts for a special purpose.

People sometimes use a lot of other words to refer to body parts, but we should use the real names of the body parts when speaking about them.

How Babies are Made

For a baby to start growing, a woman’s egg cell has to be fertilized by a special cell from a man.  This type of cell from a man is called a sperm cell.  Sperm cells are extra small and have a long tail that allows them to swim toward an egg cell to fertilize it.  Men’s bodies also make a liquid called semen that carries sperm cells.

A woman has egg cells and stores them inside ovaries, which are small parts inside their bodies.  Men make sperm cells in their testicles, which are outside of their bodies.

Egg cells and sperm cells each have a path to take to get to each other.  Egg cells travel through the fallopian tubes to go from the ovaries to the womb, where they stay until either they are fertilized or the woman has her period.  Semen, carrying many sperm cells from the testicles, travels through and out of the penis.

When a man is ready to help fertilize a woman’s egg cell with his sperm cells, his body puts extra blood into his penis.  The blood inflates his penis, which makes it larger and more firm.  This is called an erection.  The man then inserts his erect penis into the woman’s vagina.  When the semen leaves the penis while it is inside the vagina, the sperm cells can swim to the egg to fertilize it.  One of the sperm cells will reach the egg and push inside.  The egg is then fertilized and it changes to not let any other sperm in.

A fertilized cell begins to grow by dividing into two cells.  Those cells then keep growing and dividing.  Eventually some of them become a heart, some become eyes, some become arms and legs, and others become all of the other body parts a person has.  The cells become a baby, which grows inside the uterus for about nine months from the time the egg is fertilized.

When a man inserts his penis into a woman’s vagina, it is called sexual intercourse, or just sex.

How Heavenly Father Wants Us to Use Our Bodies

When men and women touch each other’s private parts and when they have sexual intercourse, it produces a very pleasant feeling.  This is a way that a husband and wife can show love to each other.  The feelings we have can be very strong and very exciting even just by being near someone or even just talking to or thinking about them.  Because sexual intercourse is so important for bringing Heavenly Father’s children into the world, and because marriage is so important, we need to be very careful with our bodies and with these strong feelings.  Heavenly Father gave us these emotions so that we are motivated to find a partner, get married, and create a family.  Our hormones and feelings are all part of Heavenly Father’s plan.

We should not let anyone but our husband or wife touch our private parts or the clothing on top of our private parts.  We also should not touch others private parts, and we should not touch our own private parts in a way that makes them feel like they would if our husband or wife were touching them.  Those feelings are a special thing that should only be for our spouse.

Our bodies are sometimes naturally excited by seeing nakedness so that we can further enjoy sexual intercourse with our husband or wife.  We should not let anyone but our spouse see our private parts.  Similarly, we should respect the bodies that God has made for others by not looking at others' private parts, except for our spouse.  We should save that special excitement and enjoyment for our marriage.

Sometimes people depict nudity or sexual acts for entertainment in writing, in pictures, or in video.  This is called pornography.  Pornography can do great harm to our minds and spirits and is often addictive, in turn potentially bringing many more problems, such as difficulty enjoying healthy sexual intercourse with our spouse.  In addition to harming us personally, it has led to people losing their jobs and families.  Pornography often seems very appealing and exciting, but we should avoid it as we would avoid a deadly poison.  Pornography is very common in the world and very easy to find, so we must be careful to avoid it and to turn away from it quickly when we come in contact with it.

If we touch ourselves or others inappropriately or if we seek out pornography, we should talk to the bishop in order to fully repent.  Repentance brings joy, but it can be long, difficult, and painful, so it’s best to discipline our minds and hearts to keep these feelings restrained until we are married. 

We also should not talk about sex casually with anyone but our husband or wife, including telling jokes.  Sexual intercourse is intended to be sacred, because it is the most private way a husband and wife can bond, and because it’s the means by which human life is created.

Some people do not follow God’s will.  As with anything else, obedience to God’s will brings us peace, while disobedience causes many problems.  Some of the problems people have when they do not obey God’s commandments about sex are:

   o We have very bad feelings, like guilt.

   o We may seriously hurt the feelings of our current or future spouse.

   o We can get yucky and painful diseases.

   o Sexual experiences with our current or future spouse become less special.

   o It is harder for us to receive help from the Holy Ghost.

   o We could have children before we are ready.  Many children are born without a mother and father who are married and committed to each other.

Sometimes, a person might force another person to have sex.  This is called rape.  When someone touches another person’s private parts against their will, or if they are young, it is called molestation.  Rape and molestation are wrong and very serious crimes, but when they happen, it is not the victim’s fault.  God intends for people to treat each other with dignity and respect, and when they violate His will they will be held responsible.  When people are raped, they may feel guilty and sad, but they are still daughters or sons of Heavenly Father.  He loves them and will not blame them.

No one has to do wrong things.  We can all obey God’s will.

Heavenly Father wants us to care for His children in strong families that can help and support each other.  He wants a husband and wife to have a special relationship and do things together that they don’t do with anyone else.  He wants us to have happiness and peace, and we can have the greatest happiness and peace as we follow His commandments carefully.

Heavenly Father wants us to understand sex.  It’s a lot to learn about and get used to.  Children learning about sex should ask questions to their parents and not anyone else.

We can read more about what Heavenly Father wants for us in For the Strength of Youth.

More Information

Sperm is created in the testicles, which hang outside of a man’s body inside the scrotum.  This is because sperm cannot get too hot or they will die.  The scrotum helps regulate the temperature of the testicles.

A woman’s uterus has a rich, fertile lining that is shed monthly through the period.  There are two fallopian tubes coming out the top, like horns, and at the end of those are ovaries.  A woman is born with all the eggs she will ever have.  Women do not create more eggs.  The eggs mature one at a time (usually) and then are released.  The releasing of an egg is painful and causes cramps.  The egg moves from the ovary to the fallopian tube, where it can wait for a time before moving to the uterus.  The fertilized egg grows, however, in the fertile part of the uterus.

If it is not fertilized, the body sheds the lining of the uterus and the egg in a monthly process called a period.  The period lasts up to seven days.  The shedding of the uterus lining can also cause cramps.  We use pads and tampons to catch the blood so it does not ruin our clothes.  Tampons are pushed up inside the vagina and soak up the blood.  Pads are worn in the underwear.  Panty liners are smaller pads that can be worn through the rest of the cycle.  It’s important to be prepared for our periods, because accidents are embarrassing.

Immediately before and during the period, a lot of hormones are rushing through the body, making the woman feel emotional and moody.  She might cry a lot or get angry or upset easily.  It’s important to eat well, sleep, and take care of ourselves during this uncomfortable time.